I'm melancholy today, probably not a good day to write a post. But it's either this or clean or exercise. So I'm posting. I don't enjoy Christmas, I never have. I started doing decorations when we had Lincoln. I pretend for him and I love to see the excitement in his eyes, but I personally don't enjoy it. I feel like I'm a bad gift giver, I don't enjoy parties and I don't enjoy shopping in the crowds. I've tried the earlier shopping but then I just end up buying too much. I always procrastinate my shopping which makes even worse presents. I just want it to be January. I love the calmness January brings, no one needs to see you (they just did in December). Its too cold to go out, so everyone just stays in. My birthday is in January, and all the deals are in January.
I used to always get angels off angel trees and I really enjoyed buying stuff for people I didn't know, (I didn't have to see their faces opening the presents. ) But this year things are just too tight. I think it is really good to have a tight Christmas, I think it helps the family come together, and it definitely makes me use my long neglected (somewhat crappy) creativity. But it adds stress. I like stress, I can feed off of it sometimes. But as a mom, the stress doesn't mesh well with the kids. (If Ruby would sleep, man I miss sleep)
I talked to a lady yesterday who is taking her kids and her husband on a Caribbean cruise leaving tomorrow and not coming back until after Christmas. They had no tree, no decorations and were just packing (and all tan). Can I tell you I was so jealous. I came home and looked at all my decorations and my tree with no presents under it (you don't want to know how much shopping I still need to do) and just thought, "its going to take me forever to take all this down." I told Jared that I was jealous, and he thinks I'm crazy. He loves Christmas, like everyone else. :) So I need to take a big breathe, hold my head up and smile. I need to get my Christmas shopping done (eh.. started...) And when people tell me you are missing the real spirit of Christmas, I'll smile and say, I know, I'm working on it.......as I secretly wish for January.