Archiving Quotes

too early for me:

Baby girl: mommmm where daddy?

Anna: He went to work.

Baby girl: AGAIN????

Anna: yes, sorry he'll be back later

Baby girl: Why not???

Anna: Good job going potty

Baby Girl: That poopie for you mommy. :) Your welcome.

Lincoln heard Queens: Fat Bottomed Girls

"Hey mom that's like you!!!"

Lincoln took a pita to school for lunch. He was so excited to make his friends guess what it was, he was sure they'd never seen it. I told him they used to eat Pita's in the bible:

"I had my teacher guess what it was, I told her it was in the book of mormon. I couldn't remember what it was called though" (makes me giggle to imagine the whole guessing game)

‎(while we are out to eat) My crazy son: "Mom, why can't we burp or toot when we are eating?"
Because it's gross and people don't like gross things while they eat.
"Well at school my friends and I laugh so hard at toots and burps, even when we're eating"

"you remember how I told you I didn't like the dinner last night, mom never make it again. it was so bad"

small whisper as just being told to be quiet and not rude

"so bad"

Ruby and I picked out a pink potty seat for Ruby today. Lincoln goes in to go to the bathroom, "Oh, that is so cute! so cute!" Love my little man.

Lincoln: Mom, check this out! I just made Lego buzz, even though it's supposed to be for 7 year olds. (says my 6 1/2 year old)

Ruby came to me with a glue gun, pointed it at me: FREEZE MOM!

If anyone is in the way of a plane with a propeller, they are in for a breeze......

Archiving Quotes

L: Mom quick come look! It's a blister outside!!!!

(blizzard) :)

I'm making a rubbing noise on the bed with my foot.

L: What is that, is that you foot. Oh I thought it was a wort hog. :)

A: Lincoln that shirt is too wrinkled to wear

L: Will you just laminate it for me?

L:Do you know what Urine is?

A: Yes, why

L: We just call it pee huh?

A: ya

L: Who do you think calls it Urine? The President?

A: Probably :)

M: Lincoln, do you want Milk or water?

L: Milk, with ice.

M: ok

L: C'mon, Mom, you know how I roll.

:)

L: Boom ya!!!

(instead of bouya)

Big crack of thunder

L: Woah!!! I think Jesus just got a strike!

Archiving Quotes

Riding in the car listening to the radio:

Mom, quick help me memorize that number. and when I get old enough I'm going to call them for my free laptop!

Driving in the car looking out the window:

L:Why are they always cleaning their grass?

A:What do you mean?

L:Their sprinklers are always on, why are they always cleaning their grass?

in the middle of the airport museum, very loudly.

L: F U. F U mom. FU, what does that mean. FU, Mom, Mom, What is FU? (over and over, I couldn't even get him to stop)

A:Lincoln, what kind of cake do you want for your birthday?

L: Just make one I can't resist!

I tripped and fell (I know I am amazing)

L: Gosh mom, you should really look where you are going!

(same thing he hears every time he falls, I'm not going to say it anymore. )

L: If I'm grounded from the computer than you are grounded from the computer, that way I'll stop begging to use it if no one else uses it.

From the bathroom, where he never closes the door:

L: Mom, my chesthairs are tingling....somethings wrong!!!!

(think he's seen cloudy with a chance of meatballs a little too much) :)

imagine the whiniest crying voice:

L:Mom! Everyone has a motorcycle but us! I want one so bad!!!

A: Everyone Lincoln, really, everyone?

L: Well, not everyone, but everytime I see one I want one and it's not fair other people have them and we don't!!! (crying whining) (if he only knew what I thought when I see well behaved children. :) )

giving YW a ride home in Jared's car

L: "Ya this is my dad's car, he toots in it a lot. Because it's his car."

I opened some crackers before we bought them at Wal-Mart to help Ruby survive the 2 hour shopping trip.

L:Mom you are not supposed to do that

A: It's ok because I will pay for them.

L: Mom Grandma and Grandpa said it's wrong.

A: Lincoln, it is fine.

L: (very concerned) Mom, it is against the law!!!

Archiving Quotes

Squeezing past me,

L: Mom your butt is too fat for me to fit

A: Lincoln that isn't nice to say

L: (while patting my butt) but mom I like your fat bum

(nice......sigh.....)

L:Mom, you smell nice. sniff...really nice

A: Thank you Lincoln

L: Ya, you smell better than you did yesterday.

A: thank you lincoln

A: Lincoln, how does my hair look?

L: hmmmm, I think it looks good...but it would be better if this side was red and that side was blue.

I was talking chores with Lincoln, he needed to decide on two chores to do something.

L: I know I know, (puts a finger to his lips) QUIETNESS! (whispers) quietness will be my chore. I'll be quiet for the morning.

I couldn't argue, I thought it was a great chore.

Had lunch at Zuppa's

L: I just can't stop eating, this food is soooooo good. Mom, this food is so good it fills me with Joy!

some unknown person burped;

L: Woah, that was so loud you ripped your pants!

(he doesn't quite know what expression goes with what bodily noise)

L:"Why do some people stay up past eight o'clock, (we're driving in the car explaining that he is past bedtime) I see all these people watching TV! "

A:"those are the adults, all the kids are in bed"

L: "I'm pretty sure I saw some kid shows"

Archiving Quotes

Jared may or may not have tooted, I said, "with that you are not invited into my bed!"

Lincoln says: "Dad you are invited into my bed, I toot in there all the time!"

Finger down his throat, "Yep, my tonsils are full, time to go potty" ???????????????

"Mom, what balls is your favorite?"

(talking about sport balls, but still funny)

....and please bless Meeshia in Heaven.

(tonights prayer)

Lincoln overheard Jared and I talking about going to the stake center. We were headed over and Lincoln said, "I know where it's at, the Satan Center." We helped him to say it correctly, but not with out a giggle first.

We were watching Jared play basketball up on the stage (at the satan center) and all of a sudden it stunk, bad! Lincoln wided eyed looked at me and looked ashamed. I said (very quietly) Lincoln, hold those in! He said, (not quietly)

"But mom, I got The Gas!" as he waved his hand behind his bum. My life as a mother is never dull, as other mothers looked at me with sympathy.

after michelle left one day:

Big sigh, "I love aunt michelle.....I love her alllllll the way to the moon....(leans into me) But I love you all the way to pluto"

(sweet smart boy)

From the bathroom:

Mom! Get me a book, this might take a while!!!! :)

Lincoln talking to Jared.

"this is such a great idea. I love exercising while I watch tv, I mean if I were just laying there like you are my brain would turn to mush. But because I'm exercising and watching tv I'm going to be healthy." :)

Interview of Lincoln :)

I saw this on my friends blog so I was very curious on what Lincoln would say. Wasn't as spectacular as I hoped. I'm more boring than I thought. :) But it was fun to interview him, and please please interview your kiddos and post it, I'd love to see.

1. What does mom do to make you happy?
talk to me, and help me

2. What makes mom happy?
when I get her some tea.

3. What makes mom sad?
when I don’t listen

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
knock knock jokes

5. What was your mom like as a child?
don’t know

6. How old is your mom?
14 or 600, I’m not sure

7. How tall is your mom?
measures me with his hands, 14 feet

8. What is mom's favorite thing to do?
play games with me

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
works on computer

10. What is your mom’s favorite food?
soup

11. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
South Carolina

12. What do you want to be when you grow up?
army man, fire fighter and astronaut

13. Where will you live when you grow up?
South Carolina

14. Where is your favorite place to go?
Lagoon

15. What is your favorite restaurant?
McDonalds (where we never go, so weird to me he said this)

16. What is your favorite color?
green and red


17. Who are your friends?
Andrew, timmy, Samuel, Kamden,

18. Where do you want to go on vacation?
South Carolina

19. Favorite movie?
Superman, even though I haven’t watched it in a long time.

20. Favorite TV show?
fetch with ruff ruff man

21. Favorite food?
mac and cheese

22. If you had $100 what would you do with it?
Buy a big motorcycle.

Archiving

L:"Mom, you need to get me some kick a#@"

A: "WHAT did you just say."

L: "ya know, because I have toots, I need some kick a#@"

A: (so confused) "what are you talking about?"

L: goes and gets some gas X and brings it to me,

" I need the kids kind of this because I have the toots"

so he thought he was saying "kids gas x" when he was saying "kick a#@" makes me smile

"Mom, do we have four people in our family?"

Yes

"Good, then we can be a barbershop Quartet!

What is that anyway?"

Early in the morning, Lincoln wasn't feeling well, as he stumbling into my room he said, "Mom, I think my immune system is working very hard. I think I have a cold virus."

During a thunder storm: "Thats just the angels bowling right mom."

"yep"

"Who's team do you think is winning. Heavenly Father's or Jesus's.?"

"I didn't know."

"Who's team do you want to be on Mom?"

(thats a tough choice, I told him they both would win)

Lincoln gets car sick quite frequently. today he said, "Man mom, I can't walk anymore, this is making me walk sick!"

Wow Mom, that was sooooo hot! I think it burned my brain!

lincoln's quote of the day

Don't be too alarmed by the white trash tramp. We're looking for a new one. :)

Archiving

Prayer at night: "...and please bless mom won't freak out anymore about me being sick...."

Oh, Mom, I forgot. This is very scary for you. I don't want you to be afraid. (shutting off tv) Its only for four year olds. Its ok mom.

Playing simon says:

L: Simon says touch your legs, Simon says touch your bum, simon says toot!

I'll be back in a very long time. You be in charge I'll be gone March, May and Saturday. Bye.

during the closing song at church:

"I'm going to count to four, and when I get to four church better be over!"

(He was really bugged when church didn't end at four)

a:why are you so busy (kinda frustrated)
l: because I need to have my own life......

a: Ruby you are so adorable
l: And I am so awesome...

Archiving

L: Mom, When do I get to be in charge?
A: Oh, sorry buddy, I'll always be in charge.
L: nu uh mom. When I get big you'll be dead.


L:"I don't feel good."
A: "What doesn't feel good?"
L: "My Lungs."
A: "Oh ya, whats wrong with your lungs?"
L: "Well one is up in my brain, and its almost blowing my head up, and the other is pushing my ribs really really hard."
A: Wow, that does sound like it hurts"
L: "I know, I think my clavicle is broke."
(they've been learning anatomy at school. )

Very Very early in the morning. "I had a scary dream" I'm sorry. What was it about? (very matter of fact voice) "haunted houses, vampires, witches, monsters, spiders, bombs, bullet bombs, lots of scary stuff."(he was just making stuff up so he could get in bed with us.

I can blow a bubble with my tongue!" you can? "Yep, watch" Then I got spit on. Guess thats what I get for believing him. He laughed so hard.

I was going potty and trying to keep lincoln out, He finally gets in and I say, "What is so important that you can't wait?"
"High five mom, high five!"

Out of no where! "mom, I need a baby brother." You already have a sister. "I know, but I NEED a brother, because he will be a boy like me."

Archiving

Mom! Come look! I filled up the whole toilet with my pee! I went so long!!!

Lincoln came in early this morning. Jared told him it as too early and we had to wait for the alarm. He walked out and walked back in and as loud as he could said, "BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

I was showing Lincoln how cute Ruby was.
"Oh, cute mom. Here, throw her to me..."

"Ruby is daddy's woman. And mommy is my woman"
A: Oh ya, what do you do if you have a woman?
"Go on dates and stuff"

very excited voice:
"I met a friend at school. A real boy. He's not imaginary!"

"Mom, I love you more than a bear"
oh ya, thank you.
"thats bigger than a football field!"

(gross I know, but too funny not to share)
Me catching Lincoln eating his boogers,
"Lincoln! Thats so gross, please don't!"
"Then can you go get me a snack or somethin, I'm hungry!"

More Lincoln

Lincoln loves to take showers. In the shower today I went in to tell him time was up.
L: "Mom, you need to leave, this is my private time."
This made me very curious. So I investigate and find suds all over the shower (this is not that uncommon).
me: "whats up buddy?"
l: "Just don't watch me mom, because when I touch this bubble I become (whispered voice): Bubble man. And he's not a good guy, he's a bad guy. He shoots bubbles at people. (He has a very guilty look on his face now).
me: that sounds fun, please don't use all the body wash
l: "Ok, don't watch mom, and I'm not going to do the song while you are in here, K."
me: K, you've got five more minutes, bubble man... :)"
l: "Don't call me that, its a secret."

I've very sad I missed the song.
Anyone know of a good acting agent or something I could get paid for all this imagination???